What is mediation

What is family mediation?

Using mediation helps you to find ways to communicate with each other as separated parents and is a more amicable model than the traditional legal approach.

Basically mediation tends to fall into three different categories, children mediation, finance and property mediation and all issues mediation. For an explanation of children mediation and finance and property mediation there are separate sections on this website.

Mediation is:

  • a process by which couples negotiate face to face about the arrangements for their future with the help of a neutral third party – a mediator;
  • a safe place to resolve your differences at your own pace;
  • an opportunity to recognise the needs of your children as well as yourselves;
  • a way of helping you to reach agreements which take account of all your needs, concerns and interests;
  • comprehensive – we can look at all issues together;
  • confidential, save for the sharing of financial information and any concerns about child protection;
  • suitable not only for married couples but also if you co-habit, whether same sex under the Civil Partnerships Act, or heterosexual, where the law is much less clear.

There are four main principles:

  • Mediation is voluntary. There will be no undue pressure on you to participate in the process, although increasingly Courts expect you to have attempted mediation before starting Court proceedings. In particular, mediators will be cautious about proceeding in cases of abuse or violence or an extreme imbalance of power;
  • The mediators are impartial – mediators will not direct or express a personal opinion. (Although mediators will not give advice, they will often provide substantial information and guidance);
  • Mediation is confidential, unless there are issues of Child Protection, Domestic Violence, or money laundering. Any set of proposals that are mutually acceptable will be written up as a confidential summary which will not be legally binding until ratified by lawyers or the Court and cannot be referred to in Court proceedings. There must however be comprehensive disclosure of financial information; this can be shared with lawyers or with the Court at a later stage;
  • Decision making rests with the participants; that is, you are treated as the experts in dealing with your children, your finances and your future.